Have you ever had the feeling that God is working in you, working in you like big time? That is how I have felt lately. It is really strange though, even though I know something bitter sweet is taking place right now, everything feels like something bitterly awful is happening. I really do not know what to say about it- realitives are dying, I feel like I can never be good enough to please anyone, and I really just want some good, daddy-daughter kind of love. I know that wherever I am I can get relief from this through my papa- Jesus Christ, but sometimes it seems to hard to gain control of grabbing it wherever. I sometimes feel like I have to be sitting in my bed, or dangling my feet off my favorite tree on-side of our hill (the "sitting-tree" as we here call it) and praying for him to be right there beside me. I know, though, that is not the case, even if I may feel that way.
My life lately has been a great burden on my back, something I am carrying around and walking to who-knows-where. I am not going to tell you all the stories of what has been happening, for then you may have a great burden on your back for me, and that is the least thing I want for you, and myself (I do not wish to have yet another burden on my back, because I made you have one for me- if that makes any sense). Let me just say that my great-grandfather died last week, my cousin died in January, my friends from out-of-town left and I won't get to see them until the summer, I can't seem to do anything right for my mom, and I just need some up-close and personal time with my Papa.
But I forgot something during this whole experience- God never leaves you, He is always there beside you. Whenever you feel far away from God, you have to realize that He is right there with you.
"My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
~ Carolyn Carty, 1963
You see, whenever you (or I) feel far, we feel like there is only one set of footprints in our sandy bottom, we have to then understand that we are not alone. It is God, who carries us through.
When you cry, He cries with you. When you laugh, He laughs along, when you're hurting, He hurts for you, and when you are lost, He is the One coming after you.
"You said you'd never leave or forsake me, When you said, this life is gonna shake me, And you said this world is gonna, bring trouble on my soul. This I know: When everything falls apart your arms hold me together, When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart. When everything falls apart and my strength is gone, I find you mighty and strong, you keep holding on, You keep holding on. When I see the darkness all around me, When I see that tragedy has found me, I still believe your faithful arms will never let me go. And still I know, When everything falls apart your arms hold me together.When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart. When everything falls apart and my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong, you keep holding on, You keep holding on. Sorrow will last for the night, But hope is rising with the sun, its rising with the sun, There will be storms in this life, But I know You will overcome, you have overcome. When everything falls apart your arms hold me together. When everything falls apart you're the only hope for this heart. When everything falls apart and my strength is gone I find you mighty and strong, you keep holding on,You keep holding on." ~ Everything Falls, Fee
:( really sorry for you
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